For the moms still figuring out their “thing”

Hi Mamas —

Plot twist: it’s takeover day! 🎉

I’m Kristen White, and it’s been such a JOY to join the CARRY™ team over the last several weeks. Paula Faris, CARRY’s founder, asked me to introduce myself to you and share a little bit of my working mom journey. 

So here goes…

I live in upstate South Carolina with my husband, Kaleb, and our three boys (ages 4, 7, and 9). Over the last 9+ years of motherhood, I’ve felt that constant pull between work and home. I’ve always loved working, but being a mom is a dream come true.

That opening quote from author Jennie Allen resonated deeply with me because it feels so true of my journey: the “little years” have been like piecing together a puzzle—trying to figure out how motherhood and work fit together. Truthfully, some days I still feel like I’m finding my “thing.” But every opportunity has taught me something new about myself and inched me closer to discovering what I love and enjoy.

Along the way, I’ve worked full-time, part-time, remote, in-person—with childcare and without. I’ve had jobs I’ve loved and jobs I’ve taken simply to make things work in this season of little ones. So in almost every motherhood + work scenario, I see you!

If there’s one thing I’m learning and would pass along, it’s this: purpose doesn’t come with a deadline. If you’re still figuring it out, you’re in good company. 💛 Paula and I love to hear your working mom stories! Want to share yours with us and others? Go here!

-Kristen

 This week in The CARRY™ ALL, we’re talking about:

• 💡 A Mindset Shift That Made All the Difference

• 🔍 How to Discover What You’re Made to Do

• 💛 Ditching the Mom Guilt

THE BIG 1️⃣ 2️⃣ 3️⃣

1️⃣ 💡 A Mindset Shift That Made All the Difference

One thing about me—I’m tempted to be an all or nothing girl. Which sounds bold and inspiring… until you realize that NO ONE IS DOING IT ALL and I cannot either.

One of the most freeing things I’ve learned as a working mom is this little gem from Tsh Oxenreider’s Notes From a Blue Bike: partial solutions. Basically, stop waiting until life is perfect and just do something. Tsh puts it like this: “This simple, rather obvious concept—finding partial solutions when things aren’t exactly how you want them—has been revolutionary in my life, and it stops my excuses before they come out of my mouth.”

Here’s what that looks like in real life: A few of my friends show up at school lunch EVERY. SINGLE. WEEK. Me? I show up about three times a year for each kid. It’s not “weekly supermom” status, but it’s also not zero either. And you know what? My kids still light up when they see me walk in.

Other partial solutions might look like:

• Dinner? Sometimes it’s homemade chicken pot pie. Sometimes it’s rotisserie chicken from Costco. Both count.
  

• “Quality time”? I may not do individual date nights every week, but I can rotate who gets the Target run with me. (Car chats are honestly some of my favorite conversations with my kids.)
  

• Exercise? I LOVE a brisk walk with my weighted vest while listening to a girly chit chat podcast. The magical free hour for the gym rarely comes unless it’s 5:00 AM and I’m sorry but I’m not the version of a human made for that every day. 

So what if instead of all or nothing, we started saying all or something. Just because you can’t do it 100% doesn’t mean you need to scrap it altogether.

👉 What’s your “partial solution” that keeps you afloat? Share it in the comments—because none of us have time for perfect, but we can definitely cheer each other on in “good enough.” 💛

2️⃣   🔍 How to Discover What You’re Made to Do

Okay, let’s be real—this is a giant question we’re not solving in a few paragraphs. But if you’re still trying to figure out what kind of work actually lights you up—you’re not behind, you’re human. You’re evolving, just like the rest of us.

The questions in this post and the post here are great places to start when you’re thinking about your “lane.” Here is a podcast that digs even deeper into what you want. Wondering if it’s time for a pivot? Scroll through some of these popular episodes—you might find just what you need.

Personally, I’ve always wished there was some magical assessment where I could plug in all my other assessments—you know, Myers-Briggs, Enneagram, StrengthsFinder, etc.—and it would just spit out: THIS IS WHAT YOU SHOULD DO WITH YOUR LIFE. Hello, million-dollar idea, right? Maybe it exists somewhere, but I’ve also realized that, as annoying as it sounds, the journey really is the point.

Some of my biggest “aha” moments haven’t come from jobs I loved, but from the ones I definitely didn’t. Those less-than-dreamy gigs? Total lightbulb moments. Sometimes figuring out what’s not for you is just as valuable as finding what is.

3️⃣ 💛 Ditching the Mom Guilt 

We’ve already talked about not doing it all and embracing partial solutions—but the other side of that coin is the mom guilt. And wow, have I wrestled with it.

Flashback to 2020: I had a 4-year-old, a 2-year-old, and a newborn. I was working from home with the kids, and it felt like I was always letting someone down. Some days the kids watched too much TV so I could get work done. Other days, work barely got the scraps of my energy so I could be more present with my kids. It was a never-ending cycle of hustling but rarely feeling like I was giving everyone “enough.”

Looking back, I wish I’d been better resourced sooner—especially around understanding mom guilt and flipping the way I thought about it. If that’s you, Paula’s guide to ditching the mom guilt is such a helpful place to start. And if you’re more of a podcast girl, I always appreciate The Lazy Genius’ perspective. 

📰 IN THE NEWS

Moms, Add “Uber Driver” to Your Resume 🚗

Once again, we see moms carrying the weight of the home, the kids, and their jobs—and school drop-off and pick-up are no exception. A recent AP poll found that about one-third of parents have missed work because of transportation duties, and 11% even lost a job over it!!

Surprise, surprise: moms are hit hardest, with 55% saying transportation duties mess with their careers (compared to 45% of dads). Add in bus driver shortages and limited service, and families—especially lower-income ones—are stuck in a juggling act no one signed up for. 

Bottom line? Parents need systemic solutions —because no parent should have to choose between keeping a job and getting their child to school. Read the full article.

BEEN THERE, DONE THAT 🤎

for moms in the middle years

One of the sweetest surprises in my motherhood journey has been the transition to the middle years of parenting. I’m close enough to remember the tender, challenging beginnings, but far enough removed to see how much has changed.

They aren’t babies anymore.
They aren’t teenagers yet.
Just… in between.

They’re still little in the best ways—holding my hand on walks, requesting bedtime back scratches, brimming with imagination. And yet, they’re growing too—helping, learning, becoming.

They listen to music that’s actually good.
They read books that are genuinely interesting.
They make jokes that are truly funny.
They ask questions that make me think too.

They don’t need me for everything—but they still need me.

Mamas of littles, I know the pressure to savor every moment is real. But I’m here to tell you: the middle years are something special too.

Moms of older kids—or those navigating these in-between years—leave a comment below: what would you tell a mom with littles?

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