Hi mamas-

This week, we’re thrilled to hand the newsletter over to a woman who is opening the world’s eyes to the mental load that we all carry — Paige Connell. You can also hear more from her on my podcast this week. We’re also continuing our giveaway of my book, You Don’t Have to Carry It All. Read through the newsletter to learn if you’ve won last week’s giveaway and how to win this week! 🎉

-Paula, Founder CARRY™ Media ❤️

I’m so excited to take over The CARRY™ ALL this week! I’m Paige Connell, a working mom of four, and you might know me from Instagram as @sheisapaigeturner, where I share content around the mental load of motherhood, relationships, and creating more equitable partnerships at home.

If you’re not familiar with me, I talk a lot about the mental load—the invisible and overwhelming tasks that women often carry without recognition or help. It’s everything you need to know, do, and remember for your home, your kids and work! From making sure you remembered that form for school, to remembering that baseball uniforms need to be washed, to constantly adding items to the grocery list — this mental load is never-ending.

The hardest part? It’s invisible. It’s often hard to describe because it’s made up of all the little things that keep our homes running — things that go unnoticed until they’re not taken care of. This makes it difficult to talk about, and without the right words, we can’t have the conversations that lead to change. My goal is to equip you with the language to describe the mental load clearly, so you can have more productive conversations with your partner about sharing it. When we’re able to articulate what we’re carrying, we can work together to alleviate it and create a more balanced partnership. I’m excited to dive into this week’s newsletter and explore how we can make the mental load visible and start sharing it more equally.

Enjoy!

 This week in The CARRY™ ALL, we’re talking about:

• 🗣️ Describing the Mental Load

• 🪄 Making Invisible Labor Visible

• 👩🏽‍🤝‍👨🏾 How to Talk to Your Partner About the Mental Load

THE BIG 1️⃣ 2️⃣ 3️⃣

1️⃣  🗣️ Describing the Mental Load

One of the biggest challenges in addressing the mental load is describing it clearly. So often, we confuse the mental load with a task itself, but it’s not just about completing the task — it’s about all the thought, planning, and anticipation that goes into it. The mental load includes everything you manage in your mind to keep your home and life functioning — scheduling appointments, remembering details, tracking supplies, and coordinating family needs. It's the constant mental work that goes unnoticed, but it's critical for keeping everything running smoothly. To better understand what the mental load really is (and what it isn’t), check out my video where I break it down and explain how it’s different from just checking tasks off a list. It’s the mental effort that makes all the tasks happen, and understanding that distinction is key to navigating this conversation.

2️⃣ 🪄 Making Invisible Labor Visible

One of the most important steps in addressing the mental load is making it visible. Often, we don’t realize the full scope of what we manage until we take the time to recognize it. Without the right words to describe it, it’s nearly impossible to start a productive conversation with our partners. By understanding and naming the mental load, we can communicate more clearly about the cognitive and emotional labor we carry. My free Making the Invisible Visible guide is designed to help you articulate this unseen work, so you can have more meaningful conversations and start sharing the load more equally at home.

3️⃣ 👩🏽‍🤝‍👨🏾 How to Talk to Your Partner About the Mental Load

Having a conversation about the mental load can feel daunting, especially if your partner doesn’t fully understand what it is or isn’t open to listening. The key to starting this conversation is knowing your end goal. What do you want to achieve? Are you hoping to share the work more equitably? Do you want your efforts to be acknowledged, or are you looking to outsource some of the tasks? Defining your goal before you begin the conversation will give you clarity and help guide the discussion toward a productive outcome. Being clear about what you need from your partner will make it easier to articulate your feelings and create a conversation that leads to real change. If you’re looking for more guidance on how to approach this conversation, my upcoming audio course dives deeper into these strategies and will help you navigate these difficult discussions with confidence.

BEEN THERE, DONE THAT 🤎

for working moms with older children

• As parents, we often feel like we’re carrying the bulk of the mental load, but it’s important to remember that this work isn’t gendered, nor is it just moms' jobs. Our kids are more than capable of participating too, and it’s crucial that we teach them from a young age that sharing the mental load is a family responsibility. I want to shout out to my friend Sam Kelly, who has developed a method to teach kids how to notice what needs to be done and take action. This work can start when they are very young, and it’s a powerful way to break cycles and set new norms in our families. By involving our kids in managing responsibilities, we’re not only lightening our load, but also teaching them valuable life skills. The earlier we start showing them how to participate, the more they’ll understand that this work is shared by all, not just one person.

GIVEAWAY!

Last two week’s winners are…

➡️ Larissa Thompson

➡️ Emily Sutton

➡️ Kelsey Davis Hunt

➡️ Tami Stevenson

➡️ Katie Fondren

➡️ Ashlyn Ochoa

➡️ Victoria Grieser

➡️ Hollie M.O.

➡️ Lorene Bernie

Reply to this email with your mailing address, so our team can mail these to you. 🎉 

Also, we’re still waiting to hear from two of our SIMPLIFIED cookbook winners below. Ladies, this is your last call before we open it up to someone else 🙂 

➡️ Brittany Cortez

➡️ Jennifer Hostetter

Brittany and Jennifer— reply to this email with your mailing address, so our team can mail your gifts! 🎉