18 Summers is a Lie

Because parenting isn't finite...

The Carry All

Edition #185 | Read time: 5 Minutes

Hi mamas-

They say you only get 18 summers... but we call B.S.

Not because time isn’t precious (it is). But because putting pressure on moms to make every moment magical (while juggling work, life, and everything in between) isn’t just unrealistic, it’s unfair. The good news? Your relationship with your kids doesn’t end at 18. Far from it.

This week, we’re reframing the “18 summers” narrative, and reminding you that your relationship with your kids doesn’t expire. Whether you’re still in the play-dough years or part of the burgeoning group of adult children who are traveling with their parents, you’re alright, mama.

To be honest, this newsletter is as much for me as it is for you because every time I see a story or IG reel about “18 summers”, I not only feel guilt, I get incredibly frustrated because I’ve learned it’s a myth.

Also, we sure would love if you’d share The CARRY ALL newsletter with another mama who needs it—we are so grateful hearing how much you look forward to getting this in your inbox every Tuesday. Would you share the love and share your referral link to another mama (or two)?

Finally, since it’s the first newsletter of the month, don’t miss our August Must Reads at the bottom. Enjoy!

-Paula (Founder, CARRY™ Media)

 This week in The CARRY™ ALL, we’re talking about:

  • 📆 18 Summers is a Lie

  • ✈️ Traveling With Adult Kids

  • 😎 How to Make the Most of THIS Summer

Do you feel like you only get 18 summers with your kids?

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This Daily Ritual Goes Wherever You Do

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THE BIG 1️⃣ 2️⃣ 3️⃣

1️⃣ 📆 18 Summers is a Lie

We don’t know about you, but every time we hear “you only get 18 summers with your kids,” it makes us cringe. Why? Well, for starters, you don’t stop being a parent once your kid hits 18…but also, as working moms, the narrative that we have to cherish those first 18 summers only to lose our children afterwards puts incredible pressure on us. Because sometimes, we have to work and can’t make summer magic. Sometimes, the season we’re in is hard. 

But guess what? There’s no expiration date on being a parent — the relationship doesn’t end at 18. We hear from so many parents of adult children that their relationship only gets better! So embrace the moments you have together, and stop letting “them” tell you that you’re running out of time with your kids. Need more convincing? 🎙️ Check out the latest episode of The Paula Faris Show that discusses exactly this topic. What do you think about the whole thing? Let us know in the comments! 👇🏻

2️⃣  ✈️ Traveling With Adult Kids

Parenting today is just…different from what it was when we were growing up. We’re not only seeing an increase in the number of young adults living with their parents, but also of those who are choosing to live near their parents (even if that’s no longer in the town where they grew up.) Whether we have the economy to thank, or shifting parenting philosophies, the reality is that adults are spending more time with their parents. And many? They’re traveling together too. So don’t stress about how many summers remain until your kids turn 18. Instead, embrace the possibility of traveling as a family well into adulthood. Here are some great tips on how to do it successfully, including balancing together time and independence.

3️⃣ 😎 How to Make the Most of THIS Summer

Don’t worry about some grand countdown to becoming an empty nester. Instead? Focus on the present and on creating moments that you can enjoy with your kids. Here are some beautiful ways to connect this summer:

🚲 Get Active: Go for a bike ride, play tag (when’s the last time you did that?), or get a family game of basketball going in the driveway

🔫 Water Fun: Head to the beach or pool, or have a water balloon or water gun fight. And don’t leave the “wet” parts to the kids —get in there yourself!

🧁 Baking & Movie Night: Make a special treat together that you can eat while watching a movie you all love.

🎲 Game Night: Pull out the ol’ Monopoly board or another game and have some healthy competition, while putting the phones out of sight.

🔭 Stargazing: Look for constellations in the night sky. There are even free apps, like SkyView, that allow you to point your phone at the sky and identify what you’re looking at.

📚 Click here to grab a copy of these reads. What should we feature next? Reply to this email or tell us in the comment section at the very bottom of this newsletter.

📰 IN THE NEWS

New Family Lane is Coming to TSA Checkpoints

➡️ In an attempt to make airport security smoother and less stressful, DHS and TSA are rolling out dedicated lanes for families to streamline the process. We say bravo and “it’s about time!”. Read more about this exciting update here.

BEEN THERE, DONE THAT 🤎

for working moms with older children
  • If you have bigger kids and are concerned about remaining close, have no fear. There are plenty of people who have close relationships with their adult kids. Your best bet? Start now. While your kids are still under your roof, be present for them, and love and accept them as they are. Rather than demanding obedience, prioritize the simple moments, like laughing, listening and showing empathy. When kids feel emotionally safe, they’ll be more likely to turn to you for support as adults. Here are some more ways to ensure a tight bond as the years go by.

Last week’s poll results: Over 70% of you have the flex schedule you need. Keep reading for a few of your thoughts and comments!

➡️ “I had to ask for it, it’s not guaranteed, and I often feel guilt for having “preferential” treatment. I am also always anticipating a drastic change or the expectation to change my arrangement.”

➡️ “I work for a nonprofit and I am incredibly thankful that I have the flexibility to do school drop offs and pickups, have a hybrid schedule, and the ability to completely log off at the end of the day. It’s encouraged and modeled by leadership to have a healthy work/life balance.”

➡️ “Teacher....”

➡️ “I had to take 2 demotions in order to stay remote. On one hand, I'm thankful to still have a job. On the other hand, I can never move up or move positions within the company. Im completely stuck.”

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